Archive for February, 2012

Making a Difference, Having Fun (part 1)

February 21, 2012

 

The Tipping Point” author Malcolm Gladwell points out how little things can make a big difference and this difference can literally tip the scales in your favor. A lot of people make a difference, but lose having fun in the process.

When asked, “What do you do for fun?” I am often saddened by replies of: “I am too busy. I do not have time for fun.” The lack of fun indicates their stress level and they currently have, or will have, major health problems.

Here are two points in my list of how to make a difference while retaining your humanity and having fun in the process (the remaining five to follow).

Watch out for the “Savior” complex.

Our basic need for purpose is fulfilled through work and service. Each individual is equipped with talents that will bless your corner of the world and is compelled to bring it into reality. Driven people strive to do as much as possible – accomplish a lot – at great cost to themselves and to their families. And lose fun in the process.

There is a big difference in being driven and having a calling. Called people joyfully do what is set before them and in keeping with their own gifts, talents, innate desires and available resources.

Jesus said, “The poor you will always have with you.” He also said, “It is finished.” Oh, surely you jest! But there is still hungry to feed, sick to heal, wars to end, and on and on. Jesus said, “I have accomplished what the Father gave me to do.” While Jesus, the Savior, was in human form, he refused to take on “the savior complex”. Do you have task to do? Yes, most definitely. Just do what has been given to you and do not take on too much.

Carry the message, not the person.

We are each self-determining. I teach Life Skills at a correction facility where the residents are forced to attend. A brooding young declared, “I don’t think you can fix my problems!”

I agreed with him. “You are right. I cannot. I am not the answer man. All I can do is give you information, what you do with it is entirely up to you. All I can do is help you to see things in a different light. You can ignore it. You can rebel against it. You can receive it and act upon it. I can ask you to change, but I will not demand that you change. My experience is that demanding adds fuel to rebellion. In my experience, demanding is less effective than asking and then giving you room to grow.”

If I give you information, I have added to your knowledge.

If I cause you to think, I have added to your stature.

Someone came to me so I could “fix him”. I replied, “Don’t hang your hopes on me.” It is my goal to help people grow through self-evaluation that brings internal change.

Because I carry the message and not the person, when the individual continues in his self-destructive ways, I am sad for him but I am not devastated. Also, when the person begins to change for the positive, I rejoice with her, but do not take the credit. I may have given the travel schedule, but the individual is the one who bought the ticket and got on the bus.

is that demanding adds fuel to rebellion. In my experience, demanding is less effective than asking and then giving you room to grow.”

Let me hear from you; let’s get a conversation going.

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